Cowardice

 My life is passing by and I'm stuck in all this mess. I'll never be 17 again, or 18 or 20. Haven't I wasted enough time? I have to make a decision already. Is any of my efforts to get better having any results or should I do everyone a favor and end this torture once and for all? It won't be that bad for my family as the time passes... I often think of a boy who I heard commited suicide around the time I was at my worst three years ago. Of course, me being a coward and stupid, I didn't even have a plan to start with on how to do such a thing. Isn't that boy at peace now? Isn't he doing so much better? What could he possibly be missing out on that would have been worth existing still?