On "family"
Ever been surrounded by people that should love you, but you suddenly realise they don't? How painful it is to see people you loved and thought they loved you too, be completely indifferent to your feelings.
Sleep
Life feels like an uncomfortable necessity before sleep. Sleep, on the other hand... feels like an escape. Nothing better that taking a nap and not having to do, think or worry about anything. Like a perfect excuse from living. Oh how I loved it when before surgery they put me on anesthetics. I really fear I could become addicted to them if I had free access. How wonderful to not even feel the time pass.
This is the most horrendous feeling ever. I believed my family loved me they knew what abuse had gone on. At age 50 u needed to discuss it. It was an illustration the family I thought I had where no longer there. But at that point I was in a situation I needed support. If I'd if known the truth behind their lies and deception before I'd got to this point , u could of delt with it. But at that point their reaction traumatized me all over again. I believe they lies and deception was about keeping me silent about my abuse
ReplyDeleteIt is soul destroying because you feel your whole life has been a lie.which it has